Unapologetic Public Speaking – Speaking With Confidence!

In the romantic movie, “Love Story”, a phrase about love was introduced that went, “Love means never having to say your sorry”. And while anyone who is married knows how untrue that is, we could easily adapt that concept to the world of public speaking.

As a public speaker confidence is key. That means if you’re doing your job right, there will never be a desire or a need to say your sorry to your audience.

The psychological principle behind this rule is solid and it’s not based just in ego. This rule is not created to make you out to be some super-hero who never makes a mistake. The foundation for this rule is that you have absolutely nothing to appologize for if your audience and your message is matched up with perfection. That doesn’t mean you’ll always get this perfect. With time and developing a skill of reading the audience, you’ll be speaking with more confidence than ever.

When a speaker gets up before a group, there are the assumptions that the crowd has about you. And they want to know that these things are true so they know they will be made to feel comfortable during your presentation. The core of those assumptions are….

. You are confident.
. You know what you are talking about.
. That you like them, are passionate about your subject matter and are genuinely happy to be there.
. You are comfortable in the public speaking role and
. They want to like you.

These assumptions are strongly ingrained into the psychology of a crowd and you can relate to them as you have listened to a speaker.

If that speaker is at ease, relates to the crowd in a confident easy going way and is not easily “thrown” by the little things that happen during a talk, then you relax and in doing so, you are more open to what the speaker has to say.

Learning to react to issues that come up or to handle objections or perceived errors or weaknesses in your script is just part of becoming confident as a speaker. When you do have to adjust, lose your place or respond to a question that points to a flaw in your presentation, the real issue that is on trial here is not the problem or even how you answer. It is whether you can handle that problem with grace and poise and move on that makes the difference.

If you become flustered or violate that assumption that you are confident and you know what you are doing up there, you create insecurity in the audience.

And that is the last thing they want to experience. An audience is a captive population and they know that. So they want to like you and be able to trust you to be their captain and safely guide them through to the other side, even if the trip is a bit bumpy along the way.

This is why an apology for a problem, a weakness in your material is a big mistake during a presentation. Think about how uncomfortable you feel when someone is speaking before you and are apologizing for their talk.

If you come across challenges or problem questions it’s much better to approach it head on and say something like “Great point! Let me find that out for you and get back to you personally.” Handling a challenge in this manner allows you to maintain an air of confidence and portray a leadership that invokes greater confidence in you as the speaker.

Remember that they are there to hear you and are actively waiting for you to take the lead. Lead with confidence and never apologize – that attitude will never stear you wrong!

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